Learn to say no.
Whether you’re an athlete aspiring to climb the elite ladder or just starting to embark on your athletic journey, saying “no” often to others will become a normality, and that’s perfectly ok.
No matter your chosen sport, if you’re committed to going far, training and adopting an athletic lifestyle will naturally become the dominant factor in your daily routine, enabling you to progress as much as possible.
While many assume that the hours spent in training are the primary challenge for elite athletes, the reality is different. For example, ensuring proper recovery time or nutrition is a big priority in an athlete’s daily life. It is easy to assume athletes need great bulletproof routines in their lives, and the social invitations or other interruptions will have to be managed without any feelings of guilt.
Saying “no” can be challenging for various reasons (we are all different, after all), whether you really want to help someone, don’t want to come across as rude or offend them, or wish to return a favour. However, your time remains limited, and if you aren’t putting yourself first and don’t prioritise your goals, nobody else will.
Here are some straightforward strategies for mastering the art of saying “no”:
- Honesty is Key: Open up about your dedication to your journey. Many underestimate how hard it is to become an elite athlete, and there is an assumption that missing the odd training session won’t impact achieving your goal. By explaining its demands, you might be pleasantly surprised by the positive response you receive.
- Explaining that saying no today doesn’t mean you will say no always.
- Offer other dates. This can be a way to show genuine interest and meet halfway
Remember, mastering “no” empowers your journey to success.
Successful athletes often find themselves saying “no” frequently or to almost everything. Just as you train your muscles, you can also train yourself to embrace this practice. You’re faced with a choice between prioritising someone else’s happiness or your own. When viewed in these terms, the decision to decline becomes more manageable.
I want to share two insights that changed how I approach saying “no”. The first came from a manager I had at Holmes Place in 2006. Whenever I approached him for a project or interruption, he always asked: “Is it urgent or important?”. Funnily enough, it rarely turned out to be urgent. He would then ask, “Is it important for you or me”? 99% of the time, it was only necessary to me, not him. He’d then conclude, “Come back at the end of the day when I have finished all my work”. Initially, this approach frustrated me, but over time, I developed a lot of respect for him. He remained accessible but always within his timeline after completing all his responsibilities and meetings.
The second point is that I now have an 18-month-old toddler at home, forcing me to read about ten parenting books. Many of these books challenge readers to understand how effortlessly babies say “no”. When they decline something, their focus solely centres on fulfilling their needs without consideration for consequences. Maybe we can learn something from babies, after all (my daughter also has a great squat, but that she inherited from her mother).
Remember, when you say “yes” to others, you might say “no” to your goals or the actions necessary to achieve them. Is this an area you need to improve on?
Eddie
